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MLM Woman Online Issue 40
This free monthly newsletter is made possible by our advertisers and customers. We thank them for their support!
From the Desk of the Editor
Welcome to the 40th issue of the MLM Woman Newsletter. This month we feature articles on:
How to reframe your negative thoughts to successful positive ones through a an easy daily process.
How working at home and self-employment can made a difference in your teenagers lives.
How to let go and let some space into your life.
How to choose the best advertising methods for your business and your budget.
Enjoy!
Linda Locke, Editor MLM Woman
How to Reframe for Success
By Kevin L. Polk, Ph.D. Copyright 2000. All rights reserved.
The only thing that stands between you and success is a little reframing. That does not mean reframing your house or a picture. It means reframing your thoughts about the problems that you face. You take off the old mental frame and put on a new one. You've heard the phrase, "The power of positive thinking." Well positive thoughts are a lot more powerful if you use them to remove the old frame. Let's take a look at how to do that:
First you need to find the old frame you have been using. That simply means finding the thoughts you have been using to frame the problem. Finding them won't be as hard as you might think. The following exercise should root out most of them.
Get out a piece of paper and write down your problem. Money, relationships, something at work. Anything that's a problem. Try to be as specific as you can. For example, what do you need money for? Who are you having a problem with and what is the person doing? Which part of work bothers you? The more specific the better. Now set the sheet of paper aside and do something else for a few minutes or hours.
After you have cleared your mind go back and read the problem again. As soon as you have read it take note of how the problem makes you feel. Does it make you sad, mad, or afraid? Write down how it makes you feel.
The feeling you wrote down comes from the thoughts you have about the problem. So next write down the thoughts you are having about the problem. Are you thinking, "I will NEVER make more money!" Or, "That person is mean to me ALL the time. ALL or NOTHING thoughts like these almost always lead to negative emotions. Write down every negative thought you can think of about the problem.
These negative thoughts form the emotional frame you are using to solve the problem. It's okay to feel a bit sad, mad, or afraid about a problem, but eventually you need to get motivated to solve the problem. That's where the positive frame comes into play.
Now go back and change every one of those negative thoughts into a positive thought. So, "I never can" becomes "Yes I can." "That person is always mean to me" becomes, "That person is nice to be sometimes, and sometimes not. I can learn how to deal with it." Literally change each negative thought you came up with into a positive one. Don't overanalyze this, just do it. When you are done fold up the paper and stick it in your pocket.
As you go through your day and you start to feel lousy about your problem, take out the paper and read the positive thoughts. The trick is to do this until the positive thoughts replace the negative ones. If you do this several times a day it will only be a short time and you will start having much more positive feelings about the problem. In other words, you will have a positive frame on your problem. Now solving it will be much easier.
Here's a checklist to follow in putting a positive frame on your problems:
1. Identify and Define your problem. Be specific. Write it down.
2. Identify the negative feelings you have about the problem, e.g., mad, sad or afraid. Write them down.
3. What negative thoughts are leading to those feelings? Write them down.
4. Change those thoughts into positive thoughts about the problem. Write them down.
5. Put the sheet of paper in your pocket.
6. When you think about the problem, read the positive thoughts. Repeat until you have a positive frame of mind.
This is a simple but very powerful technique. Do it and you will be conquering problems you thought were unsolvable.
About the Author:
Dr. Polk is a clinical psychologist. He and his wife offer online training in life skills. The Creative Problem Solving Course is Free. Sign up at http://www.timedoctor.com
Advice from A-Z
Sometimes a Teenager Needs You More than They Want to Admit By Azriela Jaffe, copyright 2000
When we speak of women and men making decisions to work from home and to be self-employed in order to care for the children, usually, the picture that comes to mind is that of pre-school or elementary school age children. We imagine that these little bambinos need lots of mommy and daddy time, and someone to be there for them when the school bus arrives, or to watch over them instead of full-time daycare. We rarely think of a parent choosing to be at home because of the needs of teenage children.
Contrary to this image, thousands of parents are recognizing that their teenage children need them at home just as much as the little folks. It may be to be available for after-school "schlepping" ( transportation) to school activities, or to learn more about what is going on in a teenager's life by being home at that critical time when they return from school, shove a snack down their throats, and like lightening, are off to hang out with friends. Sometimes, that half hour after school is the best time for real conversation and for catching up on what's important about their day.
Some teenagers end up in trouble, and I've heard from parents who quit jobs to be home in order to watch over a teenager with a drug, alcohol, or eating disorder problem. Although the teenager may initially resent their parent's intrusion, and rebel against it, often, it's just what is necessary to turn a kid around. Teenagers often need and want their parents to be available more than they will ever admit to their friends, or possibly, themselves - and certainly never to their parents.
I recently heard from a woman, Jennie L. Phipps, who works now as a freelance writer and editor from her home in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. She shared her story about making herself available to her older children:
"I was a newspaper editor and a single mom when my kids were little, working the long and ugly hours that go with that business. When my oldest had just finished his junior year in high school, I lost my job as the executive editor of a mid-size community newspaper. I contemplated looking for another, similar job. But every newspaper wants its editor to live in the same community. I wasn't willing to move. Besides, my son seemed to really need me as he went through his college search process. Together, we visited campuses, filled out applications and I edited carefully his important application essays.
"At the same time, I began building a free-lance business as a writer. It would seem easy for someone with my kind of work experience, but it had been years since I had written much. Editors are really managers.
"My son was accepted at Princeton University, and I was terrified because I had no job and not nearly enough money to finance that kind of education. Princeton was undeterred and helped me apply for financial aid. Kit's in his junior year now and I'm making almost as much as I made as the editor of a newspaper - maybe more when you consider that I work at home in my sweats most of the time.
"My younger son, who had been in all kinds of trouble at school when I was an editor, is 16 now and doing very well. He makes good grades, has a part in the school play, works part time and generally acts like a model citizen. I think this transformation has in part been because I've been home to listen and guide. In lots of ways, I think an on-site parent is more important during the teen years than it was when they are little."
For all of the talk about how working women ruin their children's lives by leaving them for long hours while they devote themselves to their careers, here is strong evidence that kids are incredibly resilient and a boy like Kit made it into Princeton University despite less than ideal time with his mother in his younger years. Maybe he would have made it into Princeton without his mother's devotion to the application process, and maybe not.
As parents, we simply cannot be there for our children whenever they need us. Even full-time, devoted, stay-at-home parents run into conflicting demands on their time. What I love about being self-employed is that it gives me the ability to choose those times when I know that I must be there, when a child really needs me, or it would crush them for me not to attend. Whether it's attending a young girl's first ballet recital, watching a child's home games for soccer, or being there with a box of Kleenex when they come off the bus crying because of a difficult school day. Each child needs something different from us at different times.
When Jennie watches Kit receive his diploma from Princeton University, she will remember the long hours she worked away from him, in order to pay the bills and allow the children to have a warm, safe house to live in.
Offering that security was as critical, then, as it was for her to quit that job when the time was right, to be there for her sons in a different way. Some advocates of working from home declare that parents should work from home for the entire time a child is being raised. But it doesn't always work well that way. As a single parent, Jennie needed income she could rely upon, and she developed valuable skills as an employee that now allows her to support her family independently. It is precisely because of her previous employment that she is so successful now as a freelancer.
She paid her dues, and now she and her children are collecting.
Azriela Jaffe is a syndicated columnist and author of the new book "Starting from No: Ten Strategies to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection and Succeed in Business" and several other self-help books. She welcomes reader response and questions to PO Box 209, Bausman, PA 17504 or az@azriela.com. For free online newsletters for entrepreneurs, visit her Anchored Dreams website at: http://www.isquare.com/crlink.htm
"Letting Go"
By Gary Lockwood
Look at your appointment calendar. See any "white space"? If you're like most busy CEOs and business professionals, you are booked non-stop for meetings, luncheons, dinner meetings, charity functions, planning sessions and... Well, you get the idea.
In between the bookings, you scramble to keep up with projects, reviews, financial reports, investors, staff, customers and suppliers.
Tired yet? This weariness can wreak havoc on your business. Consider the symptoms of fatigue: lack of innovation, irritability, reduced productivity, and stress. The list goes on. And we are frequently unaware of how run down we are getting.
We are moving away from the industrial age into the information age, yet the work ethic that most of us grew up with taught us to maximize work time - time at the factory or the office. Even our language reflects the inherent value judgment of time away from work. We call non-work time “off-time” or “down-time”.
The emergence of creativity, ideas, and information as our most valuable resources, and the pervasiveness of the global, 24-hour business world has changed our concept of “time equals money”.
Now, it’s “results equals money”. And we all know that more time at the office does not mean more results. In fact, it often means fewer results and more mistakes.
Build some "white space" in your life. Build reserves of time. Create more-than-enough time to do the things you want and need to do.
Let's get something straight first. Building a reserve of something you need in your life is only one part of the puzzle. The other piece is to identify what is draining your reserves. If you're pouring into the top of a leaky bucket, you won't make much progress.
Let's look at how to create reserves of time. Many of my new coaching clients complain of having too little time. Their "time tank" is running on empty, so they feel uptight, frustrated, flustered, pulled in every direction, and tired. Often, this is the first thing we work on together. Clearly, a reserve of time would reduce the stress.
So, how do you do it?
Start by plugging the leaks. Let go of some of the activities that are consuming your time. Many of today's high performers seem to have a common thread: the "Superman/Superwoman" ideal; i.e., Taking on everything and trying to get it done by tomorrow.
Success or failure often seems to be measured by the state of "busyness". Face it; you can't do justice to everything at once and you often don't have perspective of all you have going on. It's like tossing another ball to the juggler...33 at once for the average busy executive. Focus on what counts. Take aggressive action to let go. Here are some possibilities:
* Let go of tasks that someone else can do - Good delegation is a key skill for managers, yet the average manager spends 45% of his or her time on tasks that could be done by a staffer. "I can do it better and faster", you say. Sure you can, but ultimately, you are judged on what you can cause to happen, not just what you can do on your own. As a general rule of thumb, in non-critical cases, if another person can accomplish a task 80% as well as you, delegate.
* Let go of your need to say "Yes" to every request - Those around you will give you all the work you are willing to take. This is true in both our business and personal lives. Some of the most stressed people around can't say no to the next fund-raiser, the next committee, the Little League, the church, etc., etc., etc. Politely, but firmly say “No”. Examine all the organizations where you spend your time. Which ones can you "let go"?
* Let go of some meetings - The typical manager spends 17 hours each week in meetings plus 6.3 hours getting ready for those meetings. Nearly a third of that time in meetings is wasted.
That works out to be about six full weeks of the year of useless meeting time. You've seen the symptoms: hastily called meetings, no ending time stated, no agenda, no official record of what was done or said, no followup. If even one hour per week is saved, it could mean two additional effective workdays per year!
Skip some of the meetings or send someone else.
* Let go of interruptions - Interruptions can drain 1-2 hours a day. Rather than spend time with anyone who happens to stop by, close the door, turn off the phone or work from home one day week.
* Let go of the clutter - Is your desk or credenza piled with pending and unfinished work that will be done when you "get around to it?"
The average businessperson spends 3 hours each week looking for things plus 2 hours being distracted by the stuff lying around.
The most effective people work from a clean desk. Having an uncluttered desk helps you stay focused on your most important project.
* Let go of useless tasks - quit doing some of the routine things you do just because "that's what I've always done". Practice good priority management. Plan each day to stay focused on those tasks that will move you toward your goals. Watch for tasks that can be delegated or simply dropped.
* Let go of "Crises management" - Ever feel that you're leaving a trail of unfinished projects, unreturned phone calls, unread mail, partially completed reports? Crises arise from a job we left unfinished to work on another unfinished task. Another term for crisis management is "fire fighting."
Most of this is really caused by losing focus of true priorities. Learn to tell the difference between "urgent" and "important".
Bottom line... Many people pay a heavy price for their success - poor health, failed marriages, neglected friendships, no self-development in any area except business. Start today to plug the leaks and create ample reserves of time for yourself.
Let go!
About the Author...
Gary Lockwood is Your Business Coach. Increasing the Effectiveness & Enhancing the Lives of CEOs, business owners and professionals. Get the Free BizSuccess newsletter at http://www.bizsuccess.com/newsletter.htm or send any blank email to subscribe@BizSuccess.com Email: Gary@BizSuccess.com Web: http://www.BizSuccess.com Office: (800) 272-1575 (USA) * Fax: (815) 361-3041
En-ABLE Your Advertising By Diana Ratliff
So you’ve got a dynamic product. You’ve determined that there’s a definite need (or want) for it. And you know what you want to say in your advertising copy. Congratulations! (You’re way ahead of most of us!)
But assuming you DO eventually get to that point - and most of us do, after some trial and error, perhaps - what happens next? Now that you have a product, a need, and a message, how do you get that message out to your potential customers?
You have an ever-increasing (and often bewildering) array of options. There are the tried-and-true alternatives such as billboards, classified ads, direct mail, display ads, telemarketing, business cards, bulletin boards, ad specialties and the like. Then there are the newer, “high-tech” methods such as CD-ROM presentations and Internet marketing (websites and email).
How do you know which method to choose?
You may find it useful to keep the following criteria in mind when you’re trying to select the advertising media for your business. This list is by no means all-inclusive, but it does provide a starting point for your decision-making process.
* Is the option portABLE? If your product or service is purchased on impulse or when an emergency occurs, it’s important to have your company information immediately available. A good example of a portable ad could be a business card or a magnet on the refrigerator. A poor example would be a billboard (unless the sign promotes a tow service and you happen to break down right in front of it!)
* Is the option adaptABLE? If you travel on business, you can carry a telephone script with you and call from any hotel room. You can modify your script as you go along. You can even use selected words or phrases when you meet someone in person. So telephone prospecting could be a very adaptable alternative for you.
* Is the option acceptABLE? If your message is to be seen in a positive light, it has to be delivered in a manner that your prospect finds acceptable. Telemarketing is often seen as intrusive. Direct mail may be seen as junk mail. On the other hand, an ad in the classified section of your newspaper is accepted readily because your prospect chooses whether or not to read it. It’s also associated with a valuable service (delivery of the news.)
* Is it affordABLE? Sometimes your finances are tight. If you’re absolutely certain you’ve found THE best advertising option, then by all means find the money and get started. Borrow. Barter. Beg. Whatever. (So long as it’s legal, of course!) Still, some options are much more cost-effective than others are. You can get 1,000 full-color business cards made for less than $100.00. Email advertising (depending on how you collect your addresses) can be done very inexpensively also.
* Is the option capABLE of conveying the information you need? A direct mail letter allows you page-after-page to explain a new concept. A CD-ROM presentation can add an audio or visual element, which may be essential for your customer to fully grasp your offering. At the opposite extreme, a simple sign tacked to a bulletin board (*FREE adorable puppies! Call 555-5555*) may be all it takes to make the sale.
There is, unfortunately, no one size fits all advertising approach, simply because so many variables are involved. Advertising methods or messages that are extremely effective for one company may be a complete flop for another. You need to objectively assess the product or service itself, the industry you’re in, the people you’re trying to reach, and the risk involved with the purchase. Even the time of year and the name of your company can influence whether or not someone chooses to do business with you. You may have to test, test, and test yet again before you find the effective approach (or, more realistically, COMBINATION of approaches) that’s right for YOUR business.
However, when you find the advertising method that works for you, the results can be extraordinarily profitABLE.
Copyright 2000, Diana Ratliff. All rights reserved.
Diana Ratliff, Your Business Card Consultant, says that business cards are among the most affordable, portable, adaptable, and acceptable marketing weapons you can choose. Go to http://www.bizbooklets.com to post a question on her message board or order her tips booklet (in print or e-book formats). For FREE TIPS bizcardtips@getresponse.com.)
Don't Ever Give It Up! Give It TIME! By Sue Seward
Network Marketing takes time and effort. It's not always a piece of cake! In fact, we've got to start thinking more in terms of it being a marathon and not a sprint!
My husband Clif runs marathons. I know how much time and training it takes for him to be able to do this! He did not just wake up one morning and say "I think I'll go run a marathon next weekend!". He had to train for months and months. He learns something new about himself each time he runs and in the next marathon he improves his time. But he trains for each one!
Network Marketing doesn't happen overnight and you do not get rich in a few short months or even in a year. As professionals it is time to stop the insane hype that seems to abound in our industry because it can be detrimental to all of us!
We have all heard of these huge incomes which have happened for a few. You know the ones you read about in magazines who say they got a check for a bil-zillion dollars in a few short months or they quit their full time job in a few short months. Then these rare few go out and shout about all the money they made so quickly and make everyone think it was so easy!
This just isn't the reality of the industry. We've got to get realistic here. Until people start developing realistic goals, they will continue to frustrate themselves and most will quit Network Marketing when they see that it really doesn't happen in a few short months like they read about or were told!
It took me over a year and a half to really get to know what I was doing and to actually learn what this business is all about.
I'm still learning every day! I have gotten checks while learning, not huge obscene money, but still a nice check comes in handy every week. I realize that I am underpaid in the beginning but I know what the future holds for me as I stay on the consistent path I'm on and building leaders is my goal!
First I had to build myself up as a leader so I could teach others. Building leadership within your team is really how you will achieve long term success in Network Marketing. Without doing this you might as well be ready to start all over in a few years.
Ask people who say they quit their jobs in 6 months or a year to do Network Marketing full time, realistically, how many hours did they have to spend in the beginning to make that kind of money so quickly. And what sort of sacrifices did they have to make?
It might be a lot easier for say a single guy named Joe ON THE GO with no wife, no kids, no house or responsibilities to care for, etc. Joe can concentrate 16 to 18 hours a day on this Network Marketing Business with no one to answer to, no kids to take to ballgames, no diapers to change, no dinner to cook, no house to clean, no homework to help with, no groceries to shop for, no significant other to give attention to, hearing where's my dinner, my shirts, what have you been doing all day? Is there anyone out there that can relate to what I'm saying here?
I am certainly not trying to make excuses for anyone here. What I am saying is that everyone's situation is different. Many people start in Network Marketing part-time. They have to work it around their job or around their very busy LIFE!
Most people have full time jobs and extremely busy lives! I know that I do! But anyone can still do Network Marketing and build up to full time if they really take the little time they DO have and put some concentrated consistent effort into it. They will need to be extremely productive with that valuable precious time they do have!
Some people are simply happy with a part-time income from Network Marketing. Just be realistic about the time frame involved according to your own particular situation and make sure you are sensitive to this fact in other people's lives!
When you decide that you want to change your career and start your own business and choose Network Marketing decide right then and there that you've got to have a 3 to 5 year plan. Or you can adjust that time frame according to your own situation at the time. Maybe you are Joe ON THE GO above and have more time to invest than others might have.
Just think how long people stay in traditional jobs to retirement? 20, 25, 30 years? Then what do they have? And if you start a traditional business it will most likely take you at least 2 to 3 years to break even or maybe even longer.
My husband, Clif and I had this discussion last night. He told me how long it would take him to start making a profit if he were to start his own Land Surveying business. He said at least 4 years and he would have to spend a ton of money to even start his business. If the economy goes so does his business! So there's a lot of risk involved! Not to mention he would have to have an employee or two!
You also have a tremendous amount of overhead in a traditional business usually, depending on what sort of business you start. Start up cost are usually much higher than in starting your Network Marketing business.
In traditional business you still have to work hard, give it daily consistent effort, contact many many people, focus and commit, have desire, develop a PLAN, be organized, manage your time wisley....etc....the same goes for Network Marketing!
Find what many other people want and need. Become passionate about it. Use the products yourself so you will become passionate and enthusiastic about what you are doing! Other people will see this! Walk your talk!
Be patient and stick with it. Be coachable......find a good sponsor and upline support team to work with you, not build it for you. Stayed focused. That means reading everything you can about your company, the industry, and develop yourself personally.
Stay in touch constantly with your upline, downline and crossline. It is extremely crucial that you stay in the loop! There are a lot of negative people out there that would love to bring you down! Trust me!
Hook up with positive like minded people who also have the desire to succeed. Look for successful business minded people in your community. Learn all you can from them and bring them into your business. If this is not for them then ask for referrals.
Can you do this business alone? Yes you could, but it could be much tougher. AND that would be similar to being in a traditional business wouldn't it? <g>
Remember to always think of the other person first, and ask them questions....take an interest in other people and sincerely try to help them without thinking of the outcome it will bring to you.
When you do this people will gravitate towards you.
There are two things that are absolutely crucial to your success in this business:
*Being consistent on a daily basis with your contacts
*Following up in a timely manner
If you are not doing something everyday for your business you will fall behind slowly. Soon two days will go by, then three days, then four, then all of a sudden you are out! Caput! Finished! QUIT!
So do something EVERYDAY to make a contact either by email, postal mail, phone, or in person. Do whatever you can to make that commitment to do something everyday! This is so important.
How successful you are really depends on how many contacts you actually make but you must remember to:
FOLLOW UP!!!!!!!!
This is where most people drop the ball! I've seen it so many times with people and I admit I have also been guilty of not following up on occasion. It happens to the best of us! Sometimes it becomes very difficult to do it all! So................remember...........
If you cannot follow up in a timely manner go upline or downline and ask someone to follow up with your prospect for you.
This is so crucial!!! I cannot stress this one thing enough. Not following up will kill your business efforts! This is why a TEAM effort if SO invaluable to you!
Can you imagine being a 22 year old and discovering Network Marketing as your niche, finding the right mentor, support team, and giving it 3 to 5 years of consistent efforts and being set for life!
I would love to have found this industry when I was 22!
Well no matter how young or old you are you can still benefit from Network Marketing!
Being an optimistic person, I am happy that I found Network Marketing when I did and just dove in and gave it my all. I am one of the ones who is NOT giving it up, no matter how much time it takes!
Ms. Seward is an Internet network marketer, entrepreneur, wife and mom, and has been earning an income for over five years from home on the Internet. She is also a published writer, speaker, trainer and founding member of TheTopLine, Inc. You can contact Sue at: eCommerceHomeBiz.com or email: sue@ecommercehomebiz.com for her free weekly Internet Marketing newsletter.
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