Continuing on from last month here's some more Success Tools to put on your business building list. Check in next month for Tips L through Q.

F is for Executive Female – This bimonthly magazine is a excellent resource for women in business. You get it free with your membership when you join the National Association of Female Executives along with lots of other benefits and discounts with major companies nationwide. For more information about membership call (800) 634-NAFE or visit their web site at: www.nafe.com.

G is for Guerrilla Marketing – This series of books by Jay Conrad Levinson and various co-authors offers marketing tips and resources for home-based and small businesses. The ones I especially like are: “Guerrilla Marketing Online” (recently updated) and “Guerrilla Advertising: Cost Effective Tactics for Small Business Success.” All of the books are available at your local bookstore or through Houghton Mifflin at (800) 225-3362 or visit their web site at: www.gmarketing.com.

H is for Home-based Working Moms (HBWM). If you are a mom in business you should check out Home-Based Working Moms (HBWM), a national organization for moms (& dads) working at home or wanting to work at home. They have a monthly newsletter offering home business ideas, marketing tips, member profiles and more. If you’re looking for ways to share information and network with other home-based working moms, this group is for you. For more information send a #10 SASE to: HBWM, P.O. Box 500164, Austin, TX 78750 or visit their web site at: www.hbwm.com.

I is for the Internet – If you are serious about your business and you are not currently marketing on the Internet, you can’t effectively compete in today’s marketplace. Your number one priority this year should be to start marketing online if you aren’t already. ‘Nuf said.

J is for Jan Ruhe, the author of three books about Network Marketing, “Pour Yourself a Cup of Ambition”, “Fire Up!” and her newest book, “MLM Nuts and Bolts”. Jan is a star distributor with Discovery Toys. For more information about her books and tapes, visit Jan’s FireUp web site at: www.fireup.com or call 970-927-3010.

For a special MLM Woman discount on Jan's latest training course, MLM Nuts $ Bolts, CLICK HERE.

K is for The Downline Builder by Kaizensoft, a Windows based program that helps you keep track of your prospects and your growing downline. Just enter your downline information into the program, and it will let you look at a visual picture of your downline structure, manage your network through the database, and keep track of when you need to follow up with your people and your prospects. Call 800-656-4769 for more information or you can get a free demo of the Downline Builder software from their web site at: www.kaizensoft.com.

Linda Locke is the editor of MLM Woman. You can reach her via e-mail at regent@west.net

Never stop adding names to your prospect list! We've all heard that warning, yet it's easy to become complacent; especially when working with several good people in depth. After all, we can be the visiting hero (presenting the opportunity to one person or a group set up and prospected by our downline) without the stress of having to actually prospect new people ourselves. But is it wise to ever allow ourselves to get into a situation of being so dependent on the work of those in our organization that if things, for one reason or another, begin to crumble in one leg, we have no way to replace it fast?

I think not. And remember, it is up to us to set an example for our organization. Duplication will take place regardless of whether it is negative or positive. If those in our group see us stop prospecting, they'll do the same. So let's keep prospecting new people and continue to add width to our business. Okay, so now we know why. But what about how?

Whether at a Chamber of Commerce Networking or Card Exchange function, PTA meeting, racquetball court, health club, golf course, airplane or practically any place else, opportunities to prospect present themselves continually.

But there are fears which present themselves as well . . . and not just plain old rejection. For example, we may ask ourselves if we are in a situation or environment where talking business might even be considered tacky. Or will I be considered "hard sell or obnoxious" for talking business at a social gathering.

Here's how to overcome that fear, meet lots of new prospects, and have them feeling as though they know you, like you, and trust you, without seeming "tacky" in any way. And this will minimize your personal stress because you know your prospect will enjoy the conversation. You'll see why in a moment.

Focus on the Other

First, decide to invest 99.9% of you conversation focusing on that person. Isn't it true that the people we find most interesting, are the people that seem the most interested . . . in us! Ever notice how when someone let's you talk about yourself for most of the conversation, you feel amazed at how great a conversationalist that person is? Sure. And does it ever seem to be less than apropos? Certainly not.

So, from now on, let's do that consistently with others. Let's focus on the people we meet, and in such a way that they enjoy the attention. That will be the beginning of a mutually beneficial, give and take, win/win relationship with that person and many others. The result: You will always have lots of new people to whom you can present your excellent business opportunity.

But how do we keep this person talking about themselves? Simple, ask questions. But wait! I'm not talking about just any questions. And definitely not sales or prospecting related questions. Simply questions that anyone meeting you for the first time will feel delighted to answer. I call these questions "Open-Ended, Feel-Good" questions. The key is the "feel-good" part. We are simply establishing a relationship with this new prospect which will give them good feelings about us.

This will allow you to begin a follow up program after your initial conversation which will be appreciated by your new friend/prospect, and hopefully turn that person into a new distributor.

You'll notice that the following questions are all friendly and fun to answer. You don't need to ask - and will rarely, if ever, have time to ask all 10 questions, but you should know them and be able to ask the ones you deem appropriate for the particular type of person and time frame. The questions are as follows:

1. How did you get your start in the widget business?

Everyone likes to tell their story, don't they? Be the "movie of the week" in someone else's mind? Let them, since no one else does!

2. What do you enjoy most about your profession?

Isn't that a question that just asks for a positive response? Make this person feel good about being in conversation with you.

3. What separates your company from your competition?

I call this the "permission to brag" question. You've just given that person a chance to let it all hang out. "We're the only ones who offer this, nobody else can possibly match our service," etc.

4. What advice would you give someone just starting in the widget business?

Doesn't everyone want to feel like a mentor? You can give that person their chance by asking that question.

5. What one thing would you do with your business if you knew you couldn't fail?

Everybody has a dream, don't they? What is this person's dream? Ask that question at this time about their business or j.o.b. now, and soon you'll probably get to help them dream even bigger through showing them the plan.

6. What significant changes have you seen take place in your profession through the years?

7. What do you see as the coming trends in the widget business?

8. Describe the strangest or funniest incident you've experienced in your business.

That question asks that person to share his or her war stories. Something practically everyone loves to do. You are actually volunteering to be that person's audience.

9. What ways have you found to be the most effective for promoting your business?

Again, you are accentuating the positive in this person's mind.

10. What one sentence would you like people to use in describing the way you do business?

Almost always, the person will stop and think really hard before answering this question. What a compliment you've paid, actually asking a person a question that possibly their own loved ones have never thought to ask.

Now, you may be asking yourself if a person will feel as though you are being "nosy" asking so many personal questions during a first meeting. The answer is "no" for several reasons. First, you won't ask all of these questions, only a few. Secondly, these are questions people enjoy answering. And thirdly, you'll ask in such a way that the person will know you are genuinely interested.

Remember not to ask these questions as though you are challenging the person. These questions are meant to be "feel-good" in nature, designed simply to put a person at ease with you and establish a rapport and be the first step towards them feeling as though they know you, like you and trust you.

After you have asked several of the above questions it is time to ask what I call the one "key" question that will set you apart from the rest. It is as follows: "How can I know if somebody I'm talking to would be a good prospect for you?"

In a world in which most people prospecting are "I oriented" and interested only in how a person can help them, you are being "you oriented" and wondering how you can help that person. Ask yourself if anyone could ever possibly feel as though being asked that question was not completed apropos under any circumstance.

Bon Burg, author of "Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales" (McGraw-Hill) is a much sought after speaker for MLM and Direct Sales organizations. He is also the author of several audio and video programs that are utilized by numerous companies for ongoing distributor training. To book Bob for you next major program call Burg Communications at 1-800-726-3667 or 561-575-2114.

Family Matters for Entrepreneurs

I recently received the following E-mail from an ECS subscriber who is confronting a difficult issue common to entrepreneurial couples: (Ron and Julie are not their real names.)

"My wife, Julie, recently started an MLM business. I helped her a great deal in the first few months, but my own medical practice started to suffer from lack of attention, so I had to stop being as active in my wife's business. As I become less involved in her business, Julie started doing things differently than I would have. She presents the opportunity to prospects differently than I did, asks for less help from her upline than I would, and spends more time with non-producing downline than I would. She is frustrated that she hasn't achieved the sales she envisioned, but when I offer advice she says she feels beaten up, and accused of doing it all wrong. It seems like the only thing I can do now is keep my advice to myself, cheer her on, and take care of my own business. I feel frustrated when I see her struggle. I want to find a way to help her, and still care for my own career. What do you suggest I do? Ron.

Ron: I often say, "There is no such thing as my business when you are married." Even though you acknowledge that this is your wife's business, not yours, I agree - it is impossible for you to distance yourself entirely from her day to day struggles. The emotional and financial toll the business is taking on your wife is bound to affect your relationship and standard of living. I applaud you for recognizing the decline in your ability to focus on your own business before it got out of hand. Given the fact that Julie's business is struggling to be profitable, you are wise to ensure that your practice, and I assume the main source of income for your family, continues to be a reliable source of income.

Because you are clear that the MLM venture is your wife's business, and you only wish to encourage her success, your strategy as a supportive spouse must be different than if you and Julie were starting and running the MLM business together as full partners. Since you were involved in the launch of the business, you are more attached to the outcome, and more opinionated about how to succeed in her business than some spouses would be. If Julie were wildly successful, you might applaud your differences in approach, but because she is struggling, your natural tendency will be to try to fix the problem by showing her "how to do it right."

I can sum up my advice for you in two sentences: 1) What works for you won't necessarily work for Julie. 2) Unsolicited advice always sounds to the recipient like an attack. Let me expand on these thoughts:

When you witness Julie's unproductive approach to her business, the solutions may seem clear to you. If she would only do this. . . , or not do that. . . , then she would be more successful. If YOU did these activities, you probably would be able to turn the business around. But you have decided not to actively work the business, so now it's important to discover what JULIE needs to do to be successful. Although I don't know your wife, my guess is that the activities that come naturally for you may be torture for her. She can't present the product to prospects the way you would - it's not her natural style. Perhaps you can easily walk away from an unproductive downline, but she gets more attached to the people involved. Maybe you have no trouble asking for assistance from your upline, but she hesitates longer before admitting she needs help. I don't know what Julie's specific strengths and stumbling blocks are, but I do know that they will be different from yours. The key to success in her MLM business is not her ability to do what you believe will work, but to find the system that works for her.

You say that Julie accuses you of beating up on her when you offer advice. I am not standing in the room when you speak with her, so I can't hear your tone of voice or choice of words. My guess is, Julie is overly-sensitive to criticism from you, in reaction to your strong opinions about the "right way" for Julie to operate her business. Offer advice to Julie only when she asks you for it. When she opens that door, walk in gently.

Brainstorm with Julie possible solutions, allowing her to voice her objections to what you view as "the answer." Validate her concerns and support her intuitive sense of what will work for her. Avoid telling Julie what to do, and how to do it. Rather, give her the emotional support, affection and friendship that will bring out the best in her. When your wife is feeling good about herself, she will find her own solutions and reach out to others in the MLM organization who can help her. When she is feeling insecure and defeated, and you try to solve the problem for her, your well meaning advice only feels like further rejection. Offer her more listening than lecturing, and you'll probably see Julie start to solve problems herself.

Don't be surprised if Julie decides that the business isn't for her, and after a period of time, she gives up on it. If that should happen, be careful not to suggest that if only she had done it your way, she would have succeeded. Just as you have developed a medical practice that capitalizes on your strengths, Julie needs to find work that allows her to do the same. As she experiments with new directions, provide her a stable ground to launch from, and you will be offering her the greatest assistance of all.

Azriela Jaffe is the author of “Honey, I Want To Start My Own Business, A Planning Guide For Couples” and “Let’s Go Into Business Together, Eight Secrets for Positive Business Partnering” (Avon Books ‘98). She is the founder of “Anchored Dreams,” a coaching firm supporting individuals and couples in business, a professional speaker and editor of the “Entrepreneurial Couples Success Letter”. Call (717) 872-1890, write P.O. Box 209, Bausman, PA 17504, or email AzJaffe@aol.com or visit the Anchored Dreams web site at www.isquare.com/crlink.htm. For free online newsletter, email jaffe@lancnews.infi.net.