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MLM Woman Issue 108 January 2006 This FREE newsletter is made possible by our advertisers and customers. We thank them for their support! From the Desk of the Editor Welcome to the 108th issue of the MLM Woman Newsletter. This month we offer articles to help you to get off to a great start in 2006! New Year's Resolutions Revisited If you're like me and have started to set some resolutions for the new year to lose weight, exercise more, get out of debt, get rid of the dreaded clutter in your house, etc, etc... that pesky little voice is probably whispering in your ear right now, "That's what you resolved last year too-- what happened? And what makes you think you'll do it this year?" Well, here's my answer to that: This year, I'm going to concentrate on becoming the person I need to be to achieve those goals. Instead of going on the latest fad diet or wishing that I was less stressed, I'm going to concentrate on being a healthy person who takes care of herself every day, and being a person who is prepared financially and emotionally to handle the ups and downs of being an entrepreneur. The truth is that we are often waiting for someone or something outside of us to change, wishing "If only my boss would give me a raise I could buy a house or if only I had more time I could exercise more or be less stressed etc." and using it as the excuse for why our lives don't change from year to year. I call this the Have, Do, Be method -- If I had more money, I could do what I need to and pay off my debt, and then I'd be happy. The problem with this method is that you are waiting for something external to happen to you like winning the lottery or getting a surprise inheritance, and letting the course of your life to be set by wishes which may never come true. Instead I suggest that this year you turn this around and start by making the changes within yourself first by using the Be, Do, Have method. Be the person you want to be and then you'll do what you need to do to support that belief and you'll have what you want in your life as a consequence. And you won't have to rely on any one changing but yourself. There are two books that I suggest you pick up to help you on the quest to become who you really want to be and to change the negative thought patterns that keep you from achieving your goals. The first is The Speed Trap, How to Avoid the Frenzy of the Fast Lane by Joseph Bailey and the second, The Book of Mind Management by Dennis R. Deaton. Both are available from Amazon.com online. Now, go out there this year and become the person you always thought you could be. You might be surprised about what you can achieve! Happy New Year! Linda Locke, Editor MLM Woman Online Profits at the Speed of Light Are You Looking for the MLM Fairy Godmother? By Frances Anna Smith, Australia When I was a little girl, I loved Fairy stories. The notion that one day a Fairy Godmother could come along and solve all my problems then transport me to the fairy castle to live happily ever after with Prince Charming held great appeal! Then I grew up. I realized that Fairy Godmothers don't really exist. However, looking around the internet, it seems that the approach taken by many entrepreneurs when trying to recruit you into their "business" is to fool you that Fairy Godmothers do exist. You know the kind of thing: "I will build your downline for you!! Solve the problem of how to find your people...etc. Etc." Now come on... The Old-Fashioned scams tried to sell you the Sydney Harbour Bridge! :) The modern scam tries to sell you the dream of Financial Freedom with no work, no money and no time. They assume several things: 1. You are basically lazy. In reality we all have a lower self. This is what these rip-offs appeal to. But in the cold hard light of day we know in our hearts that the only way to reach our goals is to work for them - online and offline. Building a downline is the pivotal point of your business. This is where you build the rock-solid foundation of relationships and long-term loyalty. And let's face it.............. Why would you want a downline of people who don't want to make an effort? The fact is that these "downline clubs" don't work long-term. Why?? Because they attract the person who wants to put in no effort. What does this mean to your business? Take a look at successful people out there. You'll find they have been disciplined, motivated and hard working. Things like ethics, morals, values and honesty count. It is not the lower self or the lazy person who wants to expend no effort that achieves these things. Nor is it the Fairy Godmother. 2. They appeal to the "Lottery" mentality. Sure, it would be great to win a million dollars. Who wouldn't like that to happen? Interesting thing to note here though - of those people who win a lottery, 99% of them are either flat broke or worse off within 4 years. Why?? Because they didn't earn their money. They have not developed the attitudes and personal growth crucial to lasting success. This is the true payoff in any journey to Wealth and success. Get Rich Quick schemes DO work !!! - for the people who devise them and exploit the dreams and desires of the uneducated and unwary. The serious business builder is wary of the seductive appeal to the child in all of us who still hopes that Fairy Godmothers exist!! So next time you open your email and see: "I will build your downline for you - Set up a web-page just like this one and wait for the cheques to roll in"........ take a deep breath, remember that you are intelligent, caring and rational, press DELETE !!!! Then go on to success with a fair, ethical and sensible company. The good news is that they are out there too ;-). About the Author Frances Anna Smith is a dedicated professional networker who has achieved Diamond Status in her chosen company. You can contact her directly at: francesannasmith@bigpond.com.au 10 Lessons Cancer Taught Me by Donna J. Davis When I was 39 I scheduled a doctor's appointment to have a lump in my left breast checked. After a mammogram, the doctor said that there appeared to be a problem on my right side. Well, being the expert in all things at that time in my life, I told them there must be a mistake. I came in for the LEFT side. They assured me that everything looked fine on the left side but there were some suspicious looking calcifications on the right. After further tests, I was diagnosed with in situ carcinoma (cancer in the breast ducts). It was very, very early and I went through six weeks of radiation. During that time, I started reading a lot of books including Dr. Bernie Siegel's "Love, Medicine and Miracles." One book that really hit home was Dr. Carl Simonton's "Getting Well Again." There were sections in that book where I sobbed because it was like someone had been following me for 15 years and knew everything I had done and said. I learned so much. I changed dramatically and so did my life. Several years later I was suffering from severe fatigue and terrible bruising. I was diagnosed with hairy cell leukemia. This time, chemotherapy was needed and so I went through that process. I'm proud to say that I've now been breast cancer free for 12 years and leukemia free for four years. I learned many lessons in this journey. I share them with you so hopefully, if any of this fits, you can begin making changes in your life to avoid getting hit with the same two by four that smacked me! 1. There is no someday. There's only now. There's a story called "Precious Present" which talks about a mysterious man telling of an elusive present. The point of the story is that being "present" by enjoying the moments in your life is the best gift of all. It's good to plan for the future, but remember to LIVE TODAY. Don't put off playing with the kids, using your best china, doing all those things you want to do "someday." We truly do not know what tomorrow brings. Be aware of what's happening, really listen to others and trust your instincts. Your life can be so much richer by learning to be present even for just a few minutes each day. 2. Own and express your true feelings. For most of my life, I would do things I didn't want to do. I always worried about saying no to others. When I got the leukemia I knew that the fatigue wasn't just from the disease. It was also from 20 years of pent-up resentment for doing things and going places because I felt I "had" to. I've learned to express my feelings. Now I say no to things that I don't want to do. But I also tell people I love them more often. I tell my kids "I'm sorry" when I've made mistakes (and I make plenty!) I talk to others about my fears, my depression (which plagued me for years) and my failures as well as my successes. Being honest has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. Interestingly, in the process of becoming more direct, I've become kinder. There's no resentment when you speak from the heart. 3. I'm not a victim. I choose how I react to situations. Sometimes people ask "Why me?" Except for a brief moment, I didn't travel down that road. I knew there were lessons I needed to learn. Yes, some days just plain sucked with nausea and fatigue, but I also knew that many others have symptoms 1000 times worse than mine. When you're open to the lessons, you can move through your situation so much easier and faster. 4. Take care of myself first. When traveling on airplanes we always hear that in case of emergencies to put on our oxygen mask first, THEN take care of others. That's a major life lesson. If we don't take care of ourselves first, then we have nothing to give others. I had excellent doctors, but I've learned that I need to know my body and what it needs. All aspects of our life are our responsibility. Get to know you. If you feel better after eating protein, eat it. If you need 8 hours of sleep a night, find a way to get it. You'll function much better because that's what YOU need…not what a book recommends. It's the same with emotions (see #2). Speak from your heart. And spiritually, find the path that's right for you. It all comes together to make a wonderful YOU, and then you can be there for others. 5. Ask for help. Sell the SuperWoman cape on ebay! Asking for help gives others a chance to share their gifts and love. Plus, you'll weigh less because the "I have to do everything" cape is really heavy. 6. Watch your words and especially your thoughts. I believe that our "thoughts create." With my cancer, I KNEW I was going to be cancer-free. But earlier in my life I was very critical, judgmental and negative. Watch your words and thoughts for an hour. Did you say or think thoughts like "I'm always tired," "We can't afford that," "I could never do that"? If you keep thinking or saying those things, guess what shows up in your life? Yep…You are tired, you can't afford that item and you'll never do that. I challenge you to eliminate the negatives. Guard your words. They are powerful. 7. There is a reason for all things. Many times things happen in our lives and we don't understand. We are a small cog in a much bigger picture. Just trust and stay positive. As you get older, you'll smile at how you've weaved this beautiful tapestry called "My Life." 8. Get rid of stress. Stress is toxic and it can lead to serious health problems - physically and emotionally. If you are in a stressful situation, GET OUT of it -- whether it's an abusive relationship, a terrible job, or living in a place or city you don't like. Stress eventually wins by wearing you out. So read #9. 9. If you don't like your life, change it! This and #8 are easier said than done, but if you want a happier and healthier life, start making some changes. If you are thinking defeating thoughts, work on creating more positive affirmations. If you've always wanted to learn how to play the piano, start taking lessons. If you've always wanted your own home business, find something that sounds fun and start it! As the saying goes, "Life is like a buffet table. You can have whatever you want, but you've got to get up and go get it." And go back and read #5 and ask for help from people you trust. 10. Laugh often. Don't take life so seriously. All of us have challenges. Don't get upset and angry. Laugh more and know that "This too shall pass." 11. (Bonus Lesson) Reread these often. Life has a way of intruding and making us forget what we've learned. Print this off and re-read it often. You deserve happiness, love, peace and joy. Don't let anyone or anything steal that. Blessings… About the Author Donna Davis lives in Tucson, AZ with her husband Bill, their two sons and two dogs. Donna has owned several businesses including a wellness business and an accounting service. To learn more about Donna, her business and how she helps others achieve their dreams visit http://www.myfuncandlebiz.com. Is Your Purpose as Strong as a Mosquito's? by Sue Urda How could one small mosquito create such a huge stir? It's simple. It decided what it wanted: your blood. It took action: bit you. In that moment when the mosquito bites you, sucks your blood and then withdraws, it is fulfilling one of the primary functions of its' short life. The mosquito needs protein from the blood of a mammal, so it can lay eggs. Without it, the eggs cannot be laid. The only other purpose a mosquito has in life is to mate. Are you fulfilling your primary function, your purpose in this life? Do you know what it is? Many of us cringe when we hear these questions. "I have a purpose in life? I can't figure it out. Why didn't anyone ever tell me what it is? It's not on my birth certificate." Maybe our purpose isn't blatantly obvious to us, and maybe it doesn't become clear to us until many years into our lives, so we struggle with questions of direction and meaning. What is important to remember is that no matter what we do or what we don't do - in each moment of each day we are making a difference whether we are aware of it or not - whether we intend to or not. Our actions and words set examples for everyone around us; our children, coworkers, family, friends - everyone around us is affected by what we decide to do or not to do. Spending even a single dollar at the grocery store can affect the economy of many countries and the people in them. Throwing one soda can into a stream can affect the ecology for miles around. Planting trees on a hillside can affect the air around our whole planet. A smile to the gas station attendant can make his whole day! Here are a few single individuals who have made a BIG difference in this world: Helen Keller, The little boy with his finger in the dike, Erma Bombeck, Your Parents (you're here, aren't you?), Oprah, Sadam Hussein, Mother Teresa, Your neighbor, Martha Stewart, Gloria Steinem, Anthony Robbins, Mary Kay Ash, T. Harv Eker, Elanor Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, Marie Curie, Debbie Fields, Rosa Parks, Wayne Dyer, Susan G. Komen, Walt Disney, Princess Diana, Mrs. Barrett (my 8th grade teacher who told me that I should keep writing). What did these people possess that transformed them from someone ordinary to someone extraordinary? They started with a dream. They honed their purpose. They created a clear vision and added the desire from their heart and soul. And then, perhaps the most important part - they took action. They believed in the beauty and importance of their dreams so much that they took action. They were conscious and aware that what they chose could make a difference, and they moved forward. They did something. Never underestimate the effects of your actions in one moment of time. What can you do this week? What WILL you do? About the Author Sue Urda is the Co-Founder of Powerful You! Women's Network and a two-time Inc. 500 Fastest-Growing Private Companies honoree. Her vision is to contribute to a global consciousness of women helping women succeed in business and in life and to expand Powerful You! by creating chapters around the US and beyond. Sue's mission is to create venues for women to grow their businesses and nurture relationships, and to foster empowerment, gratitude and self-development. www.powerfulyou.com ~ sue.urda@powerfulyou.com Are You Chasing the Right Dream? By Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler Personal Achievement Coach © 2005 All Rights Reserved "The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind." ~~ William James, famed psychologist Achieving certain dreams often requires FAR LESS WORK than achieving other, seemingly easier goals. Why is that so? Because it is much, much harder to work for a goal we do not passionately desire. But when you manage to get yourself focused on what is naturally of passionate interest to you -- your work becomes play! Are Your Goals a "Good Fit?" Hopefully you've invested some thought clarifying your life goals ... and you know exactly what you want. So why not take a few minutes to ask yourself an important question -- am I pursuing the right goal for ME? Here’s why that is so important: You'll never really achieve your true potential as long as you pour your energy into something that doesn’t really fit your true passions and interests! Does that seem too simple? Think about that for a moment. It’s unfortunately very easy to automatically adopt someone else’s goal. We were trained to do that very thing as children. Ninty-nine percent of us were fully expected to achieve the goals our parents and educational system set out for us. Some of us gave in and tried to do so. Some of us rebelled and learned to fail instead. And some of us felt somehow inadequate because we did not have the natural interest and/or aptitude to do what we were expected to do. If you find you never seem to achieve your goals, you may be setting goals you don't really desire or believe in for yourself. This is never going to lead to success. What it will lead to is one false start after another -­ and a tendency to want to quit after the first bump in the road. This is a major dead-end, and will do nothing but gradually erode your self confidence. Ask Yourself This... You need to be sure your goal really is YOUR goal for YOUR life. If you feel resistance, take a serious look at that. Ask yourself who you might really be setting that goal for? Then ask yourself if you really have a burning passion for that goal, and are willing to butt heads with as many so-called failures as necessary to achieve it. If your answer is no -­ this may be a good time to revisit your goal setting exercise. Selecting an Appropriate Goal Three things will happen if you make the effort to refocus yourself around a goal that is more in keeping with your natural talents and passions: --First, you will be happier, less stressed, and far more productive. --Second, you will be far more likely to hang in as you hit those jarring bumps in the road. --And third, there is a higher probability you will achieve a level of excellence at what you’re doing. This increases your "value" -- thereby increasing your potential for increased return on your efforts. So put your goal to the test. Does it truly "measure up" to your innermost desires? Achieve it! The secrets of goal achievement are actually quite clear cut: --Have burning passion for what is desired, --Set a clear and exact goal to get it, --Make an absolute commitment to achieve the goal, --Be willing to pay the price for achieving it, and --Commit to focused action, focused action and more focused action! Action Point... Now ... ask yourself this question: Is 2006 going to be any different than 2005? How? And what do I have to do NOW to make next year more of what I want? Are YOU motivated to improve your probability of achieving your goals in 2006 -- and become a whole lot happier and successful? => http://www.quantum-self.com/smash_your_limits.htm Purple Envelopes by Wendy Weiss In a recent individual sales coaching session, my client was lamenting her inability to grab the attention of a particular prospect. She described the many letters she had sent and the information contained in the letters. Essentially her letters were lists of all the services (features) offered by the company and concluded with a tepid, “I will call to follow up.” The letter could easily have been written by any of her competitors. She sent it out in a white envelope. It was not surprising that her prospect had not responded. While I generally recommend against sending letters before a prospecting call, if you are sending a letter, you must make it interesting. If your letter could be written by any of your competition, there is nothing to differentiate you from your competition. This rule applies for crafting your telephone prospecting script as well. If you say the same things that your competition says, you will be perceived to be the same as your competition. Another important facet of letter writing is getting your letter opened. Thousands of books have been written on this subject. If the prospect does not open your envelope, they will not read your letter. I mentioned to my client that all correspondence from my office goes out in purpleenvelopes. And prospects notice! I’d like to be able to tell you that I knew to use purple envelopes because I am a marketing genius. The reality is, I accessorize. When my first book, "Cold Calling for Women" came out I sent out hundreds of review copies with media kits. The cover of "Cold Calling for Women" is deep purple and hot pink. Clearly, I needed deep purple folders for the media kits and then, just as clearly, I needed a purple envelope to complete the ensemble. (It annoys me if my nail polish and lipstick don’t match.) I called every reviewer to say that I was sending a review copy of the book in a purple envelope. Then I sent the review copy and media kit in the purple envelope. After that, I would call to confirm that the reviewer had received it. An amazing thing happened. Reviewers receive thousands of books every week, yet every reviewer with whom I spoke knew exactly what book I was referring to. Since that time, I have continued to use purple envelopes, for correspondence, for contracts, for media kits… it doesn’t matter. Prospects always know which package is mine, because it’s in a purple envelope. My client, however, was horrified. “No, no, no,” she said. “Our clients are staid and conservative. It’s an ‘old boy’s network.’” I found this to be an amazing statement, since there is no way my client, “Sally,” would ever fit into an “old boy’s network” no matter what she did. There’s a demoralizing goal: Trying to desperately to fit into and be a part of a group that will never accept you. I said to Sally, “At this moment in time, you already do not have that prospect as a client. The prospect has ignored every attempt that you have made to contact them. There is no risk here. You have nothing to lose. It’s time to do something different. In order to be noticed you must do something noticeable.” My first advice to Sally then was to stop sending letters and try to reach the prospect directly by telephone. (Making sure that she had first crafted a compelling script.) When asked by the secretary, "What is this in reference to?” Sally could truthfully say, “We’ve had correspondence.” If the direct telephone approach didn’t work then Sally’s next option might be to try another letter. But in this case she would need a compelling, interesting, benefit-centered letter. She would also need a mechanism (purple envelope or something else) to ensure the letter being opened. But there is a bigger issue here: So many people are afraid to take risks, to try something different or to be a little different. The difference can be minor; like purple envelopes or it can be conceptual as in the way you speak about what you do. But whatever that difference is, don’t be afraid to embrace it and use it to your advantage. The status quo is the sales professional’s biggest enemy. If your prospects do not perceive a difference between what you have to offer and what their current vendor offers, you will not get the business. You must make that difference visible in ways great and small. That means doing, being, showing difference. About the Author Wendy Weiss "The Queen of Cold Calling" Sales Training/Sales Coaching **Gain confidence, reach more prospects, close more sales and make more money.** P.O. Box 20664 London Terrace Station, New York, NY 10011 212-463-8212. Visit http://www.wendyweiss.com today to learn more about our services and read testimonials from clients. Call 212-463-8212 or e-mail wendy@wendyweiss.com for a complimentary consultation. Back to the MLM Woman Newsletter Index We want your feedback! Send e-mail comments to Linda at: regent@west.net Copyright 2006, Regent Press